When Ben Simmons tried to tear us all apart, Furkan Korkmaz brought us all together.
I don’t say this lightly, but Korkmaz posted what is likely the greatest offseason workout video from an athlete I have ever seen in my life. It’s part spaghetti western, part local television ad, part beefcake video, and all parts amazing.
It’s truly astounding and I say that with absolutely no snark in my voice. The first time I watched it in amazement, the second time I wept because I knew I’d never see something as beautiful again, and the third I thanked GOD for blessing the world with something so perfect.
Behold. If this doesn’t get your blood pumping for the Sixers season than absolutely nothing will.
Most Improved Player season is loading for Furkan Korkmaz:
— Sergen Kumaş (@sergenkumas) September 23, 2021
My goodness. Is it hot in here? Anyone else feeling flushed? Is it just me? I need to take five minutes to compose myself.
Alright I’m back. It truly is a work of art and the specific choices made during the production just kill me. The checkered shorts! The dingy Soviet Bloc-esque weight facility he’s working out in! The gratuitous beefcake shots of his ass! HIS HEAD SUPERIMPOSED IN A FLAMING RIM. It’s a thing of beauty.
This is why Simmons wants to be traded, isn’t it? He caught wind that Korkmaz was going to drop this beauty of a video on Philadelphia and he couldn’t live up to the expectations Korkmaz placed on this team? That’s reasonable.
Game recognized game, as his teammates even acknowledged the beauty of what they had witnessed.
Matisse Thybulle on Furkan’s Korkmaz’s workout video:
— Sergen Kumaş (@sergenkumas) September 24, 2021
It’s all so amazing and so absolutely corny at the same time. But that’s a good thing! It makes it a hundred times better! At one point he’s holding a basketball that is literally on fire. GET IT?! DO YOU GET IT?!
It’s as if Sergio Leone rose from the dead for one last production. It’s a spaghetti western, a tale of redemption and triumph, good over evil. It’s a tale of dunking a basketball in a flaming rim. It works on so many levels.
It has the heart of a local television ad with outstanding production values. I kept expecting him to point to the camera after a closeup dunk and tell us, in horrendously muffled audio of course, to check out the great deals on preowned Jeeps at Barbera’s on the Boulevard. Instead I was treated to more perfect form 15-foot jump shots in an empty stadium. I’m not complaining.
I’ve never been more excited to watch Korkmaz play 12 minutes a game in the season in my life. Well done Furk.