Big radio news on a Wednesday morning!
Angelo Cataldi, the Delaware Valley’s foremost purveyor of fake outrage, announced his retirement date. He will be retiring in December… of next year.
December, 2022. That means we’re subjected to another year of Angelo, like a grotesque prolonging of the nightmare. It’s like a perverted and warped version of a retirement tour that nobody asked for. The anti-Kobe Bryant.
I’ll give you the CliffsNotes version of what he said so you don’t have to listen to him:
I know what you’re thinking at this point. Angelo has considered retirement forever, and yet he’s still on the radio, so do you really believe him this time? We’re talking about the same guy who said he would have retired if it wasn’t for Marc Farzetta going to 97.5 the Fanatic a few years ago, yet here he is, gracing the Delaware Valley with his bloviating bullshit in 2021.
This is kind of like when Ozzy did the “No More Tours” tour in 1992, and then kept touring for another 25 years before announcing “No More Tours 2.” It’s like KISS going on a perpetual retirement tour for the better part of three decades now. Angelo, then, is like the sports radio version of Paul Stanley. Al Morganti is Gene Simmons and Farzy is Ace Frehley. Jonesy is Eric Singer.
Angelo should just head off into the sunset and enjoy retirement. Dude has had a monstrous and respectable radio career in Philadelphia, even if his shtick was always bullshit. You have to begrudgingly credit somebody who builds a brand as strong as Cataldi’s and rides it for 30 years.
But if Angelo keeps going, he will eventually turn into somebody he hates.
He will turn into Dick Stockton.
Edit – An earlier version of this story noted that the “No More Tours” tour took place in 1993. It actually took place in 1992. I should have known that. I’m embarrassed.