Atlanta Braves World Series Championship Parade Bus Sets Some Sort of Speed Record
We love to complain about the futility of our sports teams in Philadelphia. It’s a point of perverse pride. One Super Bowl in 2018, one World Series in 2008, and otherwise season after lost season for the local squads. The Sixers haven’t won it all since 1983. The Flyers…woof.
Compared to Atlanta, though, we’ve actually had it pretty good. The Falcons, up 28-3 over the New England Patriots, choked away their best chance to win the Super Bowl. The Hawks have never even made the NBA Finals since the team moved to Atlanta in 1968, though there may be some (very) old-timers who fondly recall the St. Louis Hawks winning the chip in 1958. And Atlanta has not had professional hockey since the Thrashers left for Winnipeg in 2011. So, it’s the Braves that have had to do the heavy lifting. To their credit, the Braves have been up to the task. They won the National League East 11 years in a row from 1995 to 2005. Remarkably, though, only the 1995 team won the World Series, and it had been 26 years since either the Braves or any other Atlanta team had won a title.
So you’d imagine that Braves fans were absolutely psyched to celebrate this long-awaited championship at today’s parade in Atlanta. Apparently, the only person who wasn’t completely enthused about this parade was the bus driver:
https://twitter.com/thowedoffalil/status/1456681001594376200?s=20
I mean the World Series trophy is on that bus but you’d never know it. And how about some bands or something? Atlanta, y’all need some help planning a parade because I’m here to offer my services? #ridiculous #WorldSeries #Bravesparade #NASCARbraves #Atlanta https://t.co/4LZ7tKwmUG pic.twitter.com/3FDqnbBmuk
— Leigh H. (@hootle23) November 5, 2021
These tweets are the straight truth — that bus was MOVING. Just about every joke made about this situation was variant of the following:
When you have to drive a parade bus and noon but have somewhere to be at 12:30😂
The Braves parade was ZOOMING! pic.twitter.com/tOk9hwVedO
— Fanatics Sportsbook (@FanaticsBook) November 5, 2021
But I have to give it to my colleague Uncle Coggin for this joke, which I’m pretty disappointed I didn’t come up with myself:
Did someone tell the Braves parade driver if he goes under 55 MPH the bus will explode? pic.twitter.com/aVhBhHY04c
— CogginToboggan (@CogginToboggan) November 5, 2021
That’s just a timely, timely reference, Well done everyone, except the parade bus driver.