What Would we Call a Hypothetical, Philadelphia-Based Bowl Game?

It’s college bowl season, and this week we’ve had the Cheez It Bowl, Guaranteed Rate Bowl, and SERVPRO First Responder Bowl. The Duke’s Mayo Bowl is today, Thursday.

Bob had a great idea for a post, and it stems from this tweet:

Give me your best name for a hypothetical Philadelphia-based college football bowl game.

— Bob Wankel (@Bob_Wankel) December 29, 2021

This is a great topic, and the responses were perfect.

Here is a sampling of the Twitter replies:

• The Nate Sudfeld Wawa Classic
• The Four Seasons Total Landscaping Bowl
• The Citywide Special Bowl (Admission $3)
• The Roosevelt Boulevard Deathtrap Bowl presented by Tastykake
• The Conshohocken Curve Bowl
• The Schuylkill Expressway Bowl, presented by Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpets
• Soft Pretzel Bowl presented by Wawa
• The Bad Things Happen in Philadelphia Bowl
• The Milk Steak Bowl brought to you by Wolf Cola
• The I-95 Construction Bowl. It’s never over and no one wins
• The Swiss Cheese Pervert Bowl
• Wooder Ice Bowl, sponsored by Rita’s so everyone in Philly can bitch about how they haven’t been any good since they went corporate
• The Jawn Bowl Presented by Wawa 
• I Hate Steven Singer Bowl sponsored by Chop
• The La Colombe Freedom, Liberty & Independence Bowl presented by Goldberg’s Peanut Chews
• Street Closed Due To Construction Bowl
• The “Pass on an Open Dunk and Alienate a City” bowl presented by Ben Simmons
• The Pothole Bowl
• The Wawa Mac N Cheese Bowl Bowl
• The Toilet Bowl
• The Joseph Corropolese Tomato Pie Bowl
• The Delco Accent Bowl presented by Barnabys
• The Scrub Daddy Krimpet Bowl presented by Wells Fargo
• The Cherry Bowl, brought to you by Cherry Hill Nissan, The Friendly Nissan Giant
• The Manute Bol presented by Wawa
• The Jack Sell Em for Less Bowl presented by Del Toyota
• Hymie’s Deli Pickle Bar Bowl Presented Tower Health
• The Boner 4ever Bowl 
• The Hitchbot Memorial Bowl
• The Doors Unlimited Unlimited Doors Bowl
• The Allen Iverson TGI Fridays Bowl
• The Lew Blum Bowl
• The Nifty Fifties Tax Evasion Bowl
• The 6 ABC Boscovs Thanksgiving Day Parade Bowl Brought You By Dunkin Donuts and Gary Barbara Is This Bowl The Best Boy I Bet Bowl… bowl

Love those. My personal favorite out of that list is the “Boner 4Ever” Bowl. They could play it in North Philly.

And here are some bowl games I’d like to see in town. These are my suggestions, and don’t necessarily reflect the views of the Crossing Broad staff, though I’d imagine they’d probably laugh at and/or agree with most of these:

• The Cash-Only Restaurants with a $4 ATM Surcharge Fee, presented by Kline and Specter
• The Officer Joseph Bologna Bowl, presented by John McNesby and Malcolm Jenkins
• The South Philly Moms Yelling at Ed Rendell Bowl, sponsored by Safehouse Safe Injection Sites
• The We Can’t Find $33 Million Bowl, presented by the Philadelphia Revenue Department
• The See Ya in a Kia Bowl, presented by Jim Sipala
• The Blowhard Sports Talk Radio Host Bowl, sponsored by Howard Eskin
• The PennDOT Ineptitude Bowl (everybody is 20 minutes late getting to the game because the fucking highway is down to one lane again, but no workers are actually out there doing work)
• The Universal Pre-K Soda Tax Bowl
• The Mayor Jim Kenney Bowl, sponsored by Froggy Carr and the Mummers
• The Alshon Jeffery Snitch Allegations Bowl, brought to you by Josina Anderson
• The “Bitch I Don’t Have the Virus” Bowl, presented by Di Bruno Brothers
• The Sack of Shit Lie Bowl, sponsored by Inga Saffron and Stu Bykofsky
• The Hair Restoration Bowl, brought to you by Paul Glat
• The Dr. Lowell Meyerson Fanny Doctor Bowl
• The Double-Bird Flipping Urologist Bowl
• The Email Hacking and Cop-Punching Bowl, presented by Alycia Lane and Larry Mendte
• The “Do the Right Thing and Sign” Bowl, brought to you by electrician Tom Cudeyro
• The What Up? Bowl, sponsored by Jose from Norristown

These are all great suggestions. Let’s bring bowl season to Philadelphia.

By the way, the Liberty Bowl was originally played in Philadelphia. It was hosted at the Philadelphia Municipal Stadium up until 1964, then moved to Atlantic City for a year. In 1965, they shifted to Memphis Tennessee. I was 20 years away from being bornwhen the Liberty Bowl was hosted in Philly, but people on Twitter are saying it was miserable and cold, etc.