Darius Slay quote tweeted a highlight film of Eli Apple getting continually roasted after Apple took a shot at Jalen Hurts this past Sunday:

“You never was a superstar”

“You must be on them Xanny bars”

“Cuz you acting like a fool”

“And you switch like a pussy little bitch”

Wow. “Hit Em Up.” “No Vaseline.” “Ether.” “Back To Back.” The greatest diss tracks of our lifetime and now we can add *checks notes* Super Gremlin (Eli Apple Diss) by The B.U.N. to the list.

Question: Is Eli Apple the worst person ever at their job to have a diss track aimed at them? Dissing Eli Apple is like dissing Asher Roth. You can’t live off of the I Love College royalties forever just like you can’t keep fooling GMs that you’ll one day unlock that 1st round talent. Who’re we going to diss next, baseball HOF voters?

I kinda wish we had more diss tracks for failed defensive backs. It’d be a lucrative business model for any underground Philly rappers trying to make a name for themselves. You can start with Nnamdi Asomugha, Byron Maxwell, and Orlando Scandrick.

“You never was a superstar”

“All you did was eat in your car”

“You made Coach Reid look like a fool”

“Now he’s about to win Super Bowl #2”