Rate Matisse Thybulle’s Knowledge of Philly Slang

via redbullusa/IG

Matisse Thybulle has been in Philly for three years now and he thinks he has Philly slang down:

Tough to come right out the gate and not know ‘Ard.’ For the old heads that don’t know, it means ‘alright.’ Good job on Red Bull to cover most of the main ones. I wish they threw in a ‘Jeet’. Maybe a ‘drawlin’ or ‘citywide.’ Maybe even a ‘backdoor dickhead!’ to spice the video up more. It also feels like they missed a major opportunity to add ‘boul,’ being their product’s mascot is a giant bull, but now I’m probably just grasping at straws.

I’ll say this – not bad for Matisse. I’ll give him an 8/10 because I’m not letting him off easy with “Whiz Wit.” It’s not some form of cheese. It’s a cheesesteak order with onions and cheese whiz. It’s probably the most important one out of the bunch because if you fuck it up some greaseball at Pat’s is going to yell at you, and send you to the back of the line to practice. It’s not hard, but it gives first timer’s anxiety. Once you have it down though, then you can get funky with it. Here’s me tuned up on Saturday standing with a Pat’s steak on enemy territory. Don’t even remember ordering because I’m a seasoned veteran:

Lights are on, but nobody’s home. My coat/hoodie combo is elite though:

Sidenote: That six pack in my hand was from Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar because we walked in at 1:45am and they had made last call. Now I thought RHBB stayed open all hours of the night and just locked the door because I used to live a block from there and the door would be wide open with people boozing at 8am. Not mad or anything, just an observation. I guess you just have to put your time in there to get those privileges.   

Honestly, I had bigger problems anyway. 29 years old and still don’t know how to piss properly. Clean it the fuck up you animal: