Coots, Ian Laperriere, and Scott Hartnell were all on a video call to talk about the greatness that is Claude Giroux ahead of his 1,000th game.

During the interview, Lappy goaded Hartsy into telling the story of G giving the business to Craig Berube:

Lets take a look at the tale of the tape, via Wikipedia:

Claude is giving up 20 pounds and two inches to Berube and he pinned him like a donkey. It was so bad Hartnell had to tell Craig to leave the bar he was so embarrassed. This has to be the reason the Berube era in Philly never worked out. How can you take your coach seriously when you know you could pin him at center ice whenever you wanted? Maybe this is the reason Claude never won a Stanley Cup here. No coach could ever beat him in arm wrestling. Hakstol? Nope. AV? Fat chance. Lavi? Probably his most valiant competitor, that guy’s built like a refrigerator. You think the pride of Franklin, Mass hasn’t gotten tuned up once or twice in some pub and challenged someone to a twist some wrists before closing time?

I hope no NHL GMs interested in Claude get word of this. It would absolutely diminish the return at the deadline. How many teams right now who are rumored to be in on the Giroux Sweepstakes have coaches big enough to step to him? Lets take a look:

St. Louis Blues: Craig Berube

Hey Craig, does your wife coach? Sorry Nancy. Claude already sent you packing with your tail between your legs.

Florida Panthers: Andrew Burnette

Absolutely fucking not. No coach with the interim tag is taking down a bear like Claude.

Minnesota Wild: Dean Evason

I love this psycho. Celebrating a win by punching everyone? Just guys being dudes. Not enough oomph on those rights though, coach. Also, the fact this guy looks older than Creed Bratton doesn’t help. Moving along.

Colorado Avalanche: Jared Bednar

Look at that HOSS! 6’3 205 pounds of man meat! Calm under pressure when the best player on your team is barking at you. Nate MacKinnon was so shook about Bednar’s demeanor he fell off the damn bench. Ladies and gentleman we’ve found our winner! Someone Claude Giroux can respect! Congratulations Avalanche. Take care of him. He loves grilled cheese and playing beer pong with broken wrists.