This truck is guaranteed to break down during the last quarter of your road trip. Even Gil Brandt thinks this is a tragic auto mishap:

The PA license plate basically guarantees this guy grew up in Philly, has never stepped foot in Texas, and eats birthday cake that looks like this:

 

If you work for the PPA you have to ticket this guy’s car every chance you get, right? Or at least get Lew Blum to impound it. He’s done much worse for far less. Imagine how many times this dude was pulled over by the cops after the Cowboys won on Monday night this year. Islam + Cowboys? Those plates had more runs than Mike McCarthy the morning after brisket night. This guy is out of his mind if he thinks God AND the Cowboys are good all the time. How do you explain war, famine, and natural disasters? 

War:


Famine:

Natural disasters: