The Golden State Warriors ran the Nuggets off the court Saturday! Doris Burke was praising the great shape Nikola Jokic was in as the camera zoomed in on him looking like he wanted to be anywhere else than on that foul line:
Jokic in hell right now pic.twitter.com/xUq59XARTb
— Kyle (@KyleWooderboys) April 17, 2022
If Nikola Jokic is in peak shape, according to Doris Burke, then why the fuck am I drinking vodka sodas and eating salads prepping for a bachelor party in a month? Every guy in the world would kill for women to swoon over a guy built like a water heater with arms. Though something tells me no girls in Denver are hanging up posters of a guy who looks like an extra in Taken.
I hate that NBA writers have forced me to hate this slob. There’s nothing better than watching fat people dominate something other than the scale. Imagine you did a Family Feud style poll where you held up one picture for each MVP finalist and told them to guess who the MVP was. 90% would select Giannis or Embiid. Instead, there is a plumber posting 27/14/8 splits with the highest PER in the league. All he wants to do is smoke darts and play basketball. But since he’s about to rob Joel Embiid of another MVP and 1st team All-NBA I have nothing left but to hate him. Those are the rules.
Would love to have seen Drew Hanlen and Joel share a laugh at dinner before he tweeted this:
What’s the VORP of this Warriors-Nuggets game? Asking for a friend…
— Drew Hanlen (@DrewHanlen) April 17, 2022
I just got PTSD thinking about the poor Del Friscos busboy that probably had to run down to the deli for a two liter Ginger Ale and Grenadine for a Shirley Temple pitcher. I hope he got a good tip out.