Yes sir!

The 2022 World Cup draw was Friday and the United States was put into Group B with our former rulers, England. Those cheeky bastards!

It’s a 2010 World Cup rematch, when we tied ’em 1-1. They thought it was gonna be a cakewalk but their goalkeeper committed a ridiculous error and we ended up topping Group C via tiebreaker:

Joining us in Group B is Iran and either Wales, Scotland, or Ukraine (it’s a European qualification playoff). This is actually a very good draw for us. It could not have gone better. England is very good but they are not Germany or France. They like to choke. Iran stinks and those other three European teams are average. We should be able to get out of this group. If we don’t get out of this group, it will be a failure. I don’t think that’s a hot take.

USA VS. ENGLAND, loser has to claim Harry and Meghan.