News

What the Hell is the New Philadelphia Stars Mascot?

By Kyle Pagan

Published: Apr 11th, 2022 · 4:45 PM EDT

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The Philadelphia Stars just released their new mascot and need you to help name it:

Truly… Out of this world. ⭐️💫

What should we name the USFL’s clear best mascot!? ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/yrxqZ2OjFn

— Philadelphia Stars (@USFLStars) April 11, 2022

First thoughts:

I’m guessing it is a play on “Stars” and they’re using an alien from some sort of galaxy. I think it looks like a Chuck. Why Chuck? Just cause I think it looks like a Chuck. I’d probably be the greatest in the world at naming aliens if that was a thing. The Martian from Looney Tunes, that’s a Jeff. ET is a Larry because he has a barrel like every Larry I ever met. But Chuck fits whatever this thing is because it’s fat and dopey looking. This blog stunk.

Kinkead: just want to point out that everybody initially hated Gritty