It was a weird west coast game Tuesday night for the Phillies, highlighted by a Ben Davis rant on catchers behind the dish who drop to a knee:

“Keep going to a knee!”

You can hear the disdain in Ben Davis’ voice like he just watched the dog he loves betray him and shit on the living room carpet. It doesn’t matter that Robbie Ray bounced the ball a mile in front of the catcher. Ben Davis had a .992 fielding percentage at catcher. He knows a thing or two. Get some Knee Savers at your local Dicks and get back in the fucking crouch position like Abner Doubleday intended. If Ben Davis was holding a baseball in the booth like he always does during games he would’ve popped it.

We need to get Ben Davis a VHS deal like Tom Emanski in the 80s, but for catchers. It’s pretty fucking simple kids, “You just roll.”

P.S. Has anyone ever caught Major Chip Hazard from Small Soldiers and Ben Davis in the same room together? Makes you wonder if Chip really died at the end.