Bad fan behavior always seems to be on the radar at sporting events, so Charles Barkley has a solution:
Charles Barkley offered a solution to when a fan at a game can’t control themselves. pic.twitter.com/DEw45eV7Kj
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) May 9, 2022
“Just give me five minutes at center court with them. You ain’t gonna press no charges. Nobody is gonna be sued civilly. Say what you just said to me, right to my face for these five minutes and I’m gonna beat yo ass, beat the hell out of you… I’m gonna take my time. I’m not gonna beat ’em up quickly. I’ma jab them a little bit then lay the haymakers on they ass.”
Just so we’re clear, Barkley is advocating that we beat the ever-living shit out of unruly fans, which I think folks might actually support if we did a democratic vote on it. Remember, Pukemon (RIP) got his ass kicked after barfing on the cop at the Phillies game, so street justice is typically well-regarded, especially in these parts. Unfortunately in 2022 I don’t think bringing fans down to center court to get their ass kicked is gonna fly though, no matter if it wins the popular vote.
This all makes me laugh because Chuck is advocating for the Pantera method here. They literally wrote a song called “5 Minutes Alone” back in 1993.
“The story behind this song is we were opening for Megadeth, and there was a guy that was flipping us off the whole show and so we stopped the show. And I was like, ‘Listen, in case you haven’t noticed there’s 18,000 people who really dig what we’re doing. You’re the only one doing that stupid shit without even having to egg the crowd on.’ Ten guys just jumped the guy and beat the shit out of him. His dad called the manager after all the lawsuits and this and that, and basically said, ‘Give me five minutes with that Phil Anselmo guy. I want to whup his ass.’ “
Despite not seeing the dad, I can safely say that he would not have wanted five minutes with Phil Anselmo. But anyway, this is the crossover we need on a Monday. Charles Barkley and Pantera. Transport me back to 1993 when Chuck was MVP and Pantera was just about to drop Far Beyond Driven: