Dallas Mayor wants to Bring a Second Football Team to the City Because Cowboys Fans Haven’t Suffered Enough

Eric Johnson's Twitter profile picture

Mayor Eric Johnson, who hasn’t seen a Super Bowl since the 1995 season, thinks the citizens of Dallas haven’t suffered enough and wants to bring another football team in to play in the AFC:


How long until Jerry Jones has this mayor killed? Honestly. There’s absolutely zero shot he’d ever allow this. He won’t even let teams in San Antonio because the Cowboys have training camp there. Unless Jerry Jones gets to own both teams. That would be hilarious. Jerry Jones and the Cowboys continuing to shit the bed every year, but now we get it twice? Sign me up. He’s senile. He’s showing his draft board to the world:

Five years ago he was conspiring with Dan Snyder and Papa John to try and get Roger Goodell fired as commissioner. What a murderer’s row of brain power those meetings must have had:

Appearing last month for an interview with Jason Whitlock, via Sportscasting.com, former Papa John’s CEO John Schnatter claimed that Jones and Washington owner Dan Snyder wanted Schnatter to try to get Goodell fired in 2017, specifically for the manner in which Goodell was handing the national anthem controversy.

“Snyder and Jones hate Goodell,” Schnatter said. “I said, ‘No, this is not my job to fire your Commissioner. He works for you.’ Remember, Goodell is a coward, and he is incompetent. And he’s just lucky. Jerry Jones, the owner of the Cowboys, Indra Nooyi [former CEO] with PepsiCo, and Dan Snyder all called me — several other folks — about Goodell’s conduct and the way he was handling this. Jones and Dan Snyder . . . wanted Goodell fired. This is like . . . the first of November, end of October. They called and said, ‘You need to take this guy out. You’re the number one sponsor of the league, as far as notoriety and acceptance and association. Everybody loves you, they love Peyton [Manning, a Papa John’s franchisee and sponsor]. We hate Goodell.’”

He’s a billionaire driving his own car at almost 80 years old? Albeit this crash wasn’t his fault, but Jesus man. You’re the owner of the richest franchise in the NFL. Can we get this guy an SUV and a driver? If I was worth Jerry Jones money I’d drive a tank down I-76:

I know this makes zero logical sense because they would play in the AFC, but I will find it in my heart to hate this new Dallas team. I’ll just have to shuffle some things around. Move the Giants up to the left atrium shift the Commies over a little and squeeze this Dallas team right in between the 2002 Buccaneers and the Boston Celtics.

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