French report:

Okay sorry that’s useless unless you speak French.

Here’s the translation:

“Joel Embiid, NBA superstar, has initiated administrative procedures to obtain French nationality and be able to play with the French basketball team.”

I must be missing something here, because Embiid has no connection to France. He SPEAKS French, because that’s the language of his native Cameroon, which was a French colony at ONE POINT, something like 50 years ago. I don’t know if that qualifies him for French citizenship. We’ll have to get an expert on French colonization and FIBA eligibility up in here.

France is a good team though. Evan Fournier, Rudy Gobert, Nando de Colo, Nic Batum, Frank Ntilikina, Gershon Yabusele, Timmy Luwawu-Cabarrot, Sixers legend Vincent Poirier, etc. If Embiid gets clearance to play for France, Gobert better start working on that corner three. Stretch-four Rudy Gobert. How’s that sound? Yeah, didn’t think so.