Nets GM Needs Ben Simmons to “Smell the Gym” Again

practice video screen grab

We’ll get it back to the Sixers, who are facing elimination tonight, momentarily, but first let’s grab some low-hanging fruit on a slow day. Let’s read between the lines with Brooklyn Nets GM Sean Marks, who wants a specific type of player:

That’s the voice of a guy who is sick of this shit. He had one superstar who played about half of the regular season games due to New York’s COVID rules. Then he traded James Harden for Ben Simmons, who didn’t even play a single game before undergoing back surgery. Ben Simmons sat out for 4.5 months of the season and then somehow wound up with an injury despite spending his winter hanging out with Maya Jama and playing Call of Duty. I’m sure Marks is using that quote there to talk to Ben and Kyrie at the same time:

“We’re looking for guys who want to come in here and be part of something bigger than themselves, play selfless, play team basketball, and be available. That goes not only for Kyrie, but for everybody here.”

There was also this:

As you know, the best ability is availability, and trust Sixers fans – you don’t want Ben to be around his friends and family. You want him to get away from all of that. Get him away from Klutch and whatever. Guy needs a total mental reset and needs to decide if he actually likes basketball or not. We got to this point largely because he was resistant to change and discomfort, so surrounding him with the same people is gonna be a feckless move.

As a final thought, what do you think the Brooklyn Nets gym smells like? Does it smell like a used diaper filled with Indian food? Like a turd covered in burnt hair? Like Bigfoot’s dick? The only gym Ben is gonna be smelling will be located in California.

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