An astute observer brought to our attention a heavyweight Philadelphia media battle that began on Facebook Tuesday night and continued into Wednesday morning.

In one corner, it’s Howard “The King” Eskin of Sports Radio 94 WIP, who went on Twitter to rip meteorologists-at-large after Monday’s storms turned out to be not as bad as originally thought:

But “The King” didn’t stop with a Twitter post. He was out for meteorological blood, and ventured over to Cecily Tynan’s Facebook page to write this:

Amazing. There’s a lot to unpack here, so we’ll do it in numbered order:

  1. Howard telling Cecily to “hang in” is hilarious. She’s been doing this for decades. I’m sure she’ll be fine.
  2. Complaining about meteorologists went out of style in the 1990s. There’s always some dipshit who says “man I wish I could be wrong 50% of the time and still have a job!” These people might be surprised to learn that meteorology is not an exact science. This isn’t like ancient Rome, where the augurs would see a bird flying overhead and then say “this is a symbol from God, a new heir will be born during the first full moon.” In 2022, meteorologists interpret advanced data models and basically translate that and deliver it to us in a language we can understand. They’ll parse what they’re given, which is only as good as modern technology allows, and try to give us the best understanding of what might happen on a certain day.
  3. Likewise, when you talk about hyping up storms or creating hysteria, that oftentimes has nothing to do with an individual meteorologist, unless you recall that one time John Bolaris went overboard. During my time in TV news, consultants would tell General Managers and News Directors that weather played well, mostly because it was something every viewer could relate to. If you live in Margate, you might not care about the Perkasie council meeting, and vice versa, but both viewers desire the forecast. That’s why weather often leads shows or is pushed high into the “A block” (first segment before commercial) and then you get the full three minute forecast later in the show. Weather sells on television, especially in large markets that cover multiple states and/or cities.
  4. Meteorologists don’t issue recommendations for school or business closings. Cecily Tynan is not on the phone with the Pennsauken superintendent telling this person “you’re gonna be on two-hour delay.” In Philadelphia, for instance, the school district policy is to “meet with the local office of the National Weather Service, as well as different city agencies including the Office of Emergency Management, the Police and Fire Departments, and SEPTA.”
  5. Cecily explained this in her post, but the thunderstorm warnings are issued by the NWS.
  6. Better to be safe than sorry. Seriously. I’d rather have my 3 year old and 8 month old home from the nanny after a wrong forecast instead of them being stuck in a basement 30 minutes away. These types of incidents don’t happen very often, so we can handle missing a forecast or getting inconclusive data every so often. Shit happens.

Anyway, Cecily came with the receipts:

This is the other thing that makes me laugh. People live in their own bubble. Just because it’s not raining where you live doesn’t mean someone else isn’t getting plastered. When Ida came through we lost a single tree, but 15 minutes down the road the Upper Dublin High School roof was pretty much obliterated. Likewise, Sandy and Irene weren’t big deals in Philly, but people down the shore lost everything.

If anybody should know about giving out bad forecasts, it’s Howard. Remember when Dario Saric was never coming to Philly? And the Manning brothers would never win Super Bowl rings? And Sidney Crosby had a concussion and was done for the year? 

Might be time for the King to hang ’em up.