Almost Have to Respect SEPTA for Being so Delusional to Think These Red “Bus Only” Lanes Are Going to Work

via City of Philadelphia

Philly has come up with the idea of “Bus Only” lanes, painted red, to speed up routes around the city. The first one will be on Chestnut St. between Broad and 2nd. How will the city make sure the red lanes maximize their value, you ask? It all comes down to the kindness of Philly drivers. A known law-abiding, gentle breed.

SEPTA planner Dan Nemiroff is quoted via Thomas Fitzgerald at the Inky:

“The long-term viability of a transit lane is reliant on people obeying the rules and cars staying in their lane, because you’re not going to have police out there 24/7,” Nemiroff said.

Who at SEPTA thinks anyone driving in Philly gives one fuck about a “Bus Only” lane? There are already laws in place against double parking and I have to dodge Nissan Altimas like they’re Mario Kart banana peels every time I drive down Girard Ave. This guy probably thinks people come to a full stop at STOP signs. You think UPS drivers care about a $100 parking ticket when they get scolded by their bosses for being a second too slow? They pay $34 million in tickets a year in New York alone. This is ashtray money:

Police or the Philadelphia Parking Authority can issue $100 citations for blocking mass transit if drivers park in or use the bus lane, said Christopher R. Puchalsky, director of strategic initiatives for the city’s Office of Transportation Infrastructure and Sustainability. Using the red lanes to make right turns is allowed.

Not to mention – isn’t this going to make traffic worse? That stretch of Chestnut St. already sucks between McGillins, Bru, and Macy’s, plus the Independence Hall and Jefferson traffic. Cutting it down to one lane doesn’t seem to make sense. If you want me to start riding SEPTA, how about we start with a promise that I won’t die?

P.S. Maybe I’ll head down to Chestnut Street and see if I can police the red “Bus Only” lanes for a video. If I get shot, at least my blood will just blend in with the street. Won’t even need to waste taxpayer dollars on the clean up. 

Kinkead: counterpoint – you can’t get car jacked in a “bus only” lane