Biggest news in the hockey world this weekend is Connor McDavid allegedly cheating on his girlfriend Lauren Kyle. BREAKING NEWS! Drunk millionaire superstar athlete who has women throwing themselves at him in hockey-mad Canada cheats:

https://twitter.com/boring_gaudreau/status/1536214507235602438?s=20&t=BtG1wAxi-MA-1WRiVTQfXw

Has there ever been a more guilty-looking face than this:

 

At this point you’re sunk. The hangover is already going to suck and now it’s multiplied by the fact millions of people and your girlfriend are going to see this video in seconds. You just gotta turn your phone off and keep drinking. This is what we like to call a Monday problem:

You gotta wonder if EA Sports will take this into consideration when evaluating Connor’s awareness in NHL 23. You can’t be the greatest hockey player in the world and try to wheel chicks on the streets of Edmonton. Go out a backdoor. Pick them up around the corner. Call an Uber and have them meet you at your place. Did McJesus learn nothing from Evander Kane?

The biggest loser in this whole situation has to be Connor McDavid’s girlfriend Lauren Kyle:

Not only were you cheated on, but you can’t even get the bag since there’s no ring. Hang her jersey up in the WAG rafters with Russell Wilson’s ex wife when she thought she cashed in on draft night: