Setting the Odds on Which Flyers Reporter John Tortorella will Chew Out First

Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

TORTS!

The Flyers are hiring John Tortorella as their new head coach. We have no clue if the guy still has “it” in 2022, but two things are confirmed –

One, he will whip into shape this sorry excuse for a team, and two, he will provide plenty of great content for Crossing Broad. This is like a gold mine for us. Pageview city! Cheap clicks galore. We should bring in a freelancer just to cover John Tortorella and all of the crazy shit you’ll hear at the press conferences. Maybe we’ll call it the Tort Report. 

First things first –

Which reporter will Torts call out first? Will he label them as a “weasel” who writes “fucking shit?” That is yet to be determined, but at the Crossing Broad Sports Book the early odds have just been released:

  • Sam Carchidi: -10000*
  • Howard “The King” Eskin: -5000**
  • Mike Sielski: -250
  • Charlie O’Connor: -200
  • Russell Joy: -125
  • Jordan Hall: +125
  • Dan Gelston: +200
  • Anthony SanFilippo: +250
  • the field: +300
  • John Clark: +500
  • Giana Han: +1000
  • Olivia Reiner: +1000
  • Taryn Hatcher: +2500
  • Wayne Fish: +2500

*In consultation with our experts, we’re considering taking Carchidi off the board. If you wanna get in now at -10000, get in now, because it’s likely not gonna last long. 

**Does Howard do Flyers anymore? Can’t remember the last time he was at a hockey thing, but if he does go, he will inevitably tangle with Torts. Howard and Torts is like mixing oil and water. 

Otherwise, there are some good value plays here. Mike Sielski at -250 and Charlie O’Connor at -200 could be worth a sprinkle. Maybe Torts blows up on one of the new Inquirer reporters, who are both currently at +1000. That’s great money yo! Or, you could play the field at +300 and see if a relative newcomer to the beat messes up and gets the “that’s a clown question bro” treatment.

If you’d like to request a reporter be added to the list, email me at kevin@crossingbroad.com. If you’d like to suggest a custom SAME GAME PARLAY, we can do that, too. Right now we’re offering the following at -400:

  • Flyers to lose
  • over 4.5 goals
  • defensemen do nothing to help Carter Hart
  • Torts to lose his shit on the refs and then ream out a reporter after the game

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