Shut It Down! DeColdest Crawford Has the Best NIL Deal of All Time

via @SOSHVACOmaha on Twitter

Yea it’s great college players can get paid for their likeness and blah blah blah. This is the best part about NIL deals. The creativity that we’re going to see from some mom and pop shops in the middle of nowhere is going to be amazing. Getting paid by a heating and cooling company just because your mom named you DeColdest? How about the vision Mrs. Crawford had:

I just hope DeColdest built some incentives into his contract with SOS, because this commercial has gone insanely viral. It has four million views in four days! Think of the names we’re going to see on Saturday in 18 years:

Good news, is this is only the start. There are plenty of names in college football right now that could get NIL deals tomorrow:


General Booty, QB Oklahoma

If this guy isn’t in a commercial with Shaq selling car insurance between Jerry Springer and Maury or Preparation H doesn’t back up the BRINKS truck, fire the marketing team immediately.


Kool-Aid McKinstry, DB, Alabama

Kraft Heinz just recalled a billion Capri Suns. They need some good pub right now. Lets get these two smashing through unsuspecting Bama fan’s double-wide with tickets. If they get hurt. Boom. Nick Saban and the Aflac duck are there to offer an injury settlement. Kill two birds with one stone.


Boobie Curry, WR, Buffalo

This is a layup for any strip clubs that sell Indian food in upstate New York.


Shitta Sillah, DL, Boston College

No runs.


Jaeger Bull, TE, Wake Forest

Sounds like the new vodka Red Bull. 10% of every one sold goes in Jaeger Bull’s pockets. Don’t know how much of a party town Winston-Salem is there, but if Jaegar takes the whole OL out one night he should be able to eat outside the dining hall for a month.


Storm Duck, DB, UNC

This feels like the name of a product I’d see on some infomercial at 3am after the bar. The Storm Duck sounds like it would clean out my gutters or storm drain so it doesn’t clog.


Bumper Pool, LB, Arkansas

This guy should be moving pool tables in Arkansas. Every basement and frat house in Fayetteville should have a custom Bumper Pool with the Hog logo on the felt.