I’m… I’m dumbfounded:

ESP getting ready to walk through the body scanner at the Philly airport:

via Always Sunny

I like a nice bowl of spaghetti as much as the next guy, but I’m trying to wrap my head around how ESP packing a Tupperware full of rigatoni next to his underwear is an elite move. When I think of elite moves, I think of tucking nips of Jameson in my waistband or sock on the way into Eagles games. What if you get a baggage handler who’s having a bad day? One wrong toss and now you have Ragu all over your favorite Messi jersey. You can’t mix Italian with Argentinian.

Is this a cost-cutting move? I know Audacy is laying off a bunch of people, but I’m almost positive WIP is going to get through unscathed. You’d think ESP gets a good per-diem on the road. Is this a life hack? Because when I think of life hacks, I think of something like putting colorful fabric on your bag so you can spot it at baggage claim or leaving your newborn son at a firehouse so you don’t have to deal with the adoption paperwork. I’ve never thought about getting off a flight and thinking I can’t wait to heat up my spaghetti at the hotel.

We have to get to the bottom of this. Come on Crossing Broadcast, Eliot. Give the people answers.