What a night. We had Big Joe and Pauly going toe to toe up in the nosebleeds, heroes throwing out free dogs to the fans, malfunctioning Dollar Dog counters, and even a Phillies walk-off win (which they badly needed). We came up 30,000 hot dogs short, which blows, even with the attendance clocking in at 29,363.

If you listened to at least one interview I did leading up to this event you know I thought we could do it with 25,000 to 30,000 fans in attendance. Guess I was wrong. I took down 10 and had to ice my face when I got home because I looked like sweaty Elvis after all those nitrates:

The dogs were MOVING in the beginning of the game. It was definitely a fast dog night. The weather was perfect, the dogs were edible, and people were buying 20 at a time. By the time I got back to my seat with my first round of dogs it was the bottom of the 2nd and we were already at 25,038 sold. The Phils sold 10k before the game even started. We were on pace to blow by the record by the 6th:

Of course I figured people would slow down as the game went on. So I planned to buy 100 dogs during the 5th inning and throw them out to people. This video had a budget…and boy did we go over budget. Instead, I bought 150 and just let people have at it on the concourse. The last 40 I took up to the 400 level to toss out to people. What a reaction:

Look at that form! Like a young Herb Magee. I don’t know if the video did it justice, but there was one dog that came out of its tinfoil shell and took off in the complete opposite direction. I thought some one was going to get a pork missile to the dome. Instead, the dad in the maroon shirt around 33 seconds made one of the best grabs I’ve ever seen. My cameraman says he got it so we’ll see when we release the footage some time next week.


I wasn’t the only one to spread cheer either. Shout out to these dudes. One guy giving away hot dogs in a Reggie White shirsey and another feeding the masses in a hot dog costume. Does it get any more Philly than this?

Back to what we all came here for…

Around the 7th inning dogs came to a screeching halt. We went from 25,000 in two innings to 19,000 in five. I had to call in the big guns and recruit anyone I could to share hot dog progress with their Twitter base. These are the real influencers in Philly sports Twitter who can move the needle and get the ball over the goal line. We did ok, but not enough. I will be sure to keep a mental rolodex of those who did participate and those who did not:

Here’s where things got fishy. Out of nowhere the Dollar Dog Night counter started going BACKWARDS in the bottom of the 8th!

STOP THE STEAL! I haven’t seen a count manipulated like this in Philadelphia since 2020. These three pictures were taken over an 11 minute span. How did 41 dogs just disappear? –



This had John Middleton’s liver spotted hands all over it! I demand a recount!  The Dollar Dog Night record could’ve been broken and we didn’t even know it. I mean, at one point I bought 60 dogs from one of the hawkers on the concourse, another hawker came out with 60 more and the guy behind me bought all of those. Henry Ford himself couldn’t have dreamed up a more efficient assembly line. The Phillies need to count all the dogs, even the mail-in dogs, or I’ll be forced to give a press conference in front of the Four Seasons landscaping company.

Look, we came up 30,000 short. It sucks. I really thought we would could do it, but I underestimated the sheer insanity of selling 76,285 hot dogs. So what’s next? Well, I’m definitely coming back next year. I think I have to get more hype around it, market it better, Aramark needs to get their lines moving more efficiently, I need to pick a better day, and we gotta get that counter under control. The one thing that’s apparent is the Phillies need more Dollar Dog Nights. The lines were fucking nuts. There was an energy in the stands I haven’t felt during any game this year. Plus the more Dollar Dog Nights the more lives saved. That’s science:

Thanks to everyone who came out, thanks to Sen. Bob Casey and Regina, and thanks to the Aramark workers at the game. Not the Phillies though. Not until I get to launch hotdogs with the Phanatic.