World champions… world fucking champions! –

We did it! Great job everyone. It was a total team effort.

Keeley provided some additional information, noting that:

  • 672 victims were sitting in their cars
  • 113 victims were delivery drivers
  • 45 were Uber and Lyft drivers

The solution could be – no cars! Everybody walks or bikes and we use drones to deliver food instead. Problem solved. Get Jeff Bezos on line 1.


One of the advantages I always felt like I had in Philly was driving a shitty truck. Who wants to carjack a 2004 Ford Ranger? Man, I don’t have anything for you! I’m not even full time, I’m per diem! Luckily I was never robbed, though a homeless guy did throw a brick through my window on Christmas Day and steal a bunch of stuff. It happens I guess. You win some and lose some. I think the term for this is “shrinkage,” not from the Seinfeld episode, but when you account beforehand for losses based on theft, damage, etc.

But anyway, this was a citywide effort here. We’re 2022 carjacking champions. Hang the banner!