Grease. Lube. Vaseline. Doesn’t matter.

Phils in 4:

Here’s the press release from a Big J at the AP, so you know this is for real:

This won’t do anything. People are getting up those poles one way or another:

Even if they can’t get down:

I think CamSoda is playing a dangerous game if you ask me. If you think people aren’t going to be using the lube to be fucking on the street you don’t understand the level of chaos that goes on when a team from Philly wins a title. Not only do you have a bunch of crazy people climbing poles, lighting shit on fire, and flipping cars. Now you’re adding a whole new layer to the mix. You know how there’s that stat about birth rates being higher nine months after a city’s team wins a championship? Double it now. All thanks to CamSoda and their 55 gallon drums of lube.