Eagles Fans Have the Bird Flu

This video had it all. Batmans, soggy Jags fans, and even celebrities:

Shout out to me for not only risking my safety in hurricane-like conditions, but also my independence by having an illegal plastic bag over my mic. That’s the kind of risks I’ll take for you, the reader. Larry Krasner probably has a warrant out for my arrest as we speak.

It was an honor to meet the Gorton’s Fisherman:

I would hate to think I started a fight on the subway ride home between these two:

That was a diabolical laugh from the woman. Look at this guy’s face:

He’s pleading with his eyes for her to say anything that would make people believe he’s some sort of cocksman. There’s a good chance I’m the only guy that’s made her laugh like that in years, and you know what? Maybe I actually saved these two. If you’re not getting your needs met, it’s better to call it before you’re too far along and there’s no way out.

EDIT: Fair is fair I let the one half of the couple tell his side:

Fiancee! Good job getting her Bird Rights so she’s under team control.

All fair points made by Mike. It can be chaotic down there. Mike knows what that’s like 😉. 90% of the time I talk too fast or have a slight mumble. But congrats to the future Mr. and Mrs. Mike. Maybe, I’ll send The Heart of Tantric Sex and some Sting CDs. Someone get me their wedding registry. 


Dad of the Year. This guy is already planning elaborate ways he’s going to steal his kids’ candy on Halloween:

I was so close to getting this right. Then again, when you see the ripped pants and Tims with the flaps bent over, it’s really only one of two answers:

Where’s our disaster relief funds?

This guy basically did everything but call me a pussy when I brought up the question of dome/retractable roof vs. open air for the next Eagles stadium:

I guess what I’m about to say is going to be controversial, but I’m Team Retractable Roof on the Eagles next stadium. It’s the best of both worlds. You can still tailgate in all types of weather, but when you’re in the stadium don’t you want to be comfortable? Thousands of Eagles fans passed me to go home with four minutes to go in a one score game and the Jags had the ball. It wasn’t because they wanted to get a five minute start on traffic.

Regardless, the Eagles were still beating the Jaguars whether it was 70 degrees and sunny or driving rain. Retractable roofs also give Philadelphia more opportunities to host Super Bowls, NCAA championship games, etc. We’re already getting the World Cup, MLB All-Star Game, Wrestlemania, and two golf majors right outside the city over the next 10 years. We should want more major sports events to come here.

Okay rant over.

I love these two animals:

Only in Philly does someone get screwed by their cousin with a free Eagles ticket, but then meets a total stranger with an extra. We just watched two dudes become life-long friends before our eyes.