These power rankings are dogshit. Did anyone on MLB social watch the dominance on Tuesday night? Have they watched the Phillies mow through teams this postseason? Did they watch the four-game series when we beat the Padres up in June? They had one hit for Christ’s sake:

Here’s the thing –

Anybody who is not from here and wants to know why we’re insufferable in victory – send them this tweet. This is why we’ll steal your chants and mock and you with them. We’ll taunt you while you’re taking a piss or the entire walk out of the stadium, and then dance on your grave when someone shoves a mic and camera in our face. Because the feeling of victory when you’re constantly slighted is the best feeling in the world. It’s why we dominated the sports landscape when the Eagles went on a Super Bowl run. It’s why we’re dominating it right now with the success we’re having. And guess what? People can’t stand it. The country could literally not handle a Boston-type championship run from Philly. We are the cockiest sons of bitches in the country. No one talks shit like we do. The only problem is our teams have never been able to back it up. Do we also have little brother syndrome that’s rooted in insecurities? Of course. But that would get removed with consistent success, which would be a dangerous combo for everyone else.

Now, I need Bryce Harper to take Blake Snell 500 ft. tonight. I’m out for blood.