Is this post gonna read like a bunch of sour grapes? Yea it is. Fuck you. We’re in mourning and this Lance McCullers speech is making my blood boil.

This dude shouldn’t even be allowed to touch the trophy let alone give THE speech. The only history he’ll be a part of is giving up the most home runs in a World Series game of all time. This is a guy who does none of the work on a group project, but still gets an A:

Then they sent us to Red October! 

Us? US? You gave up 10 earned runs in 15 innings pitched during the postseason. What is this US shit? If it wasn’t for you, the Astros fans wouldn’t have to take off work for the parade. Listen, you can talk all the shit you want when you win the World Series, but that was the least inspiring speech of all time. Jose Altuve, Justin Verlander, Dusty Baker, and World Series MVP Jeremy Pena all had chances to give the speech. You give it to Lance fucking McCullers? What a moment to remember. That’s like giving it to Kyle Kendrick in 2008. Now I’m even more annoyed the Phillies lost to this team.

McCullers will be Brian Scalabrine walking around some small Florida town in 20 years: