Qatar Bans Beer at Stadiums Two Days Before the World Cup

Photo Credit: Danielle Parhizkaran-USA TODAY Sports

Imagine watching the U.S. team sober…

I love Qatar because they’re like your friend doing Dry January. For the next month you don’t want anything to do with them. And once January is over they just go back to being the person they were before. But instead of the benders, the late night Chinese food orders, and pissing the bed, it’s slave labor, murdering reporters, and putting anyone in jail who commits PDA. FUN!

This was a good opportunity to show the world that the Middle East isn’t a shitshow and Qatar is doing probably the worst job possible. But they did only have 12 years to prepare for this. So now unless you have $22k to burn for a corporate hospitality ticket, you ain’t getting a beer anywhere other than a high-end hotel or the FIFA Fan Festival:

Good news, there is no impact on Bud Zero. Budweiser seems to love the decision:

But let’s be honest, the Qatari government throws money around like an NBA first round draft pick. Budweiser is getting their palms greased for allowing this. There was a beer ban in Brazil stadiums leading up to the 2014 World Cup and FIFA made them change the law. The only difference is Brazil has your buddy working on Wall Street money. Qatar has Bezos money.

I would feel bad for fans going to the World Cup if there were actually fans at the World Cup. Qatar allegedly is paying actors to dress up in different team’s colors for the cameras. All they taught the England “fans” to do is shout “It’s coming home,” which is actually pretty authentic: