We Might Have to Stop Developing Local Children into Super Athletes, so they Don’t Screw Our Teams

Photo Credit: Kyle Ross-USA TODAY Sports

Listen, this is going to come off as a radical idea, like pulp in OJ or a political system with more than two parties, but we should abolish youth sports in the southeastern corner of Pennsylvania. I’m sorry. It’s over. We can’t continue to be getting fucked by our local athletes when they play our teams in championships. It happened TWICE last week.

First we had Chas McCormick climb the fence and steal a triple from JT Realmuto:

Than we had the LAFC goalkeeper, who was subbed on at the 118th minute, win MVP of the MLS Cup:

Chas McCormick is from West Chester and played at Millersville. John McCarthy is from Mayfair, played at La Salle University, and had 21 appearances for the Union. You can’t make this shit up. Ban the Philly Bandits. Ban FC Delco. Ban it all. Youth sports, AAU sports, high school sports. Go read a book. Play the guitar. Enough with the youth sports in the Delaware Valley.

Do mom and dad really want to watch their son’s U8 team play to a 0-0 tie hungover in December? Absolutely not. Just like no one wants to watch their kid in coach-pitch swing and miss until they bring out the tee. You want to play youth sports in this state? You better like fries on your sandwiches. Every time an athlete comes back here and makes an impact against the team he grew up rooting for it feels like when Achilles killed his cousin Hector and then dragged his lifeless body around the castle. Man, Troy was such an awesome movie.

Here’s a couple more I could remember off the top of my head. Let me know if I forgot any:

Kobe Bryant – 2001 NBA Finals

Will Fuller – 2015 Temple vs. Notre Dame

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
Email