So I went into Bath and Body Works the other day, the one at the Montgomery Mall.

Quick aside about that –

Isn’t it funny how the malls around here are half dead, with empty storefronts and broken escalators, but then you get to a handful of the stores still open and places are PACKED to the gills? The juxtaposition is wild. We could invent teleportation and beam in Christmas presents bought online and yet Victoria’s Secret would still be bumping at the Coventry Mall.

But anyway, the B&BW line was out the door, and the cashiers were just dealing with a constant parade of assholes buying candles and hand lotion, myself included. Which begs the question – would you rather work there during the holiday season, or watch the 2022-2023 Philadelphia Flyers?

Tough choice, but some things to consider:

  • At least the Flyers torture is interrupted by two intermissions. At Bath and Body Works, the line never ends.
  • You can at least sit down while watching the Flyers lose.
  • You can be miserable and grumpy during the Flyers game, but at B&BW you have to be in the holiday spirit.
  • Men have no clue what they’re looking for at B&BW, so you constantly have to guide them around the store.
  • You do get an employee discount from B&BW, whereas the Flyers only gift you with Santa sacks of shit.
  • Possible health complications from inhaling all of the various chemicals in the “try me” version of the fragance mist and hand sanitizer.

RE: the employee discount, I found this in a Reddit thread:

Overall I will give it the fact it’s one of my favorite retail jobs i’ve had so far. You smell good after work, you can sniff candles on break, see new stuff coming out, AND the gratis stuff is a pretty sweet perk plus the 30% discount on full priced items is the best least complicated perk i have gotten from a company ever.

You can’t sniff candles during a Flyers intermission. Err, well I guess you can, but that would be a little weird.

I think it’s pretty obvious now that when asked what we would rather do, working at Bath and Body Works during the holidays beats watching the Flyers. #BagItToBroad #TankHardForBedard