The dumbest thing I could possibly do is forget to buy a cup before facing bullets from a guy who won the lax Heisman, the leading goal scorer on the Philadelphia Wings, and the PLL MVP:

Doesn’t matter. Coach Day your people call my people. I’ve got more than enough on tape to be the emergency guy who just eats hot dogs in the back waiting for catastrophe to strike and be needed. I just dominated the lax Heisman. This is basically me going up against prime Reggie Bush and holding my own in an Oklahoma Drill. I tracked this ball like Roman Cechmanek in his prime:

The crazy thing is Blaze Riorden is one of the best goalies in the world in field, but fires 100 mph BBs playing forward on turf. Why not just make him both?

The Wings play tonight in their home opener against Panther City (Dallas). Fuck Dallas. The Eagles are off and the Party Zone ticket is the best ticket in town. For $45 it’s all you can drink, private bathrooms for the folks with tiny bladders, and you get to watch the action right up on the boards. You can’t beat that.