Major Tuddy Could be the Next Gritty

via NBC Washington video

The Washington Commanders are eliminated from playoff contention, but they did debut a new mascot on Sunday:

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking something along the lines of “what in God’s name is this abomination?” However, let’s not forget that everybody poo-poo’d Gritty when he was revealed several years ago, only for Gritty to take off like the Jeff Bezos space rocket en route to uber-popularity. Nobody really “got” Gritty at first, then he clicked immediately and it was all downhill from there.

Major Tuddy could be on the same path. He’s a pig, yes, but we’ve got a branding two-fer here. A double entendre of marketing. The swine design is a reference to the famous Washington offensive lines of the 80s and 90s. Then the “major” goes hand-in-hand with the military theme of the new “Commanders” nickname. So you kind of hit on two different fronts here, one honoring the history of the franchise and the other speaking to the recent rebrand. It’s clever!

The only thing that’s kind of a miss is “Tuddy,” because the Commanders can’t score. They have 33 touchdowns this year, which is 25th in the NFL. It would have been more appropriate to call him “Major Interception” or “Major three and out” because these guys stink worse than a busted pipe at FedExField, and don’t give me the Heinicke over Wentz nonsense, because they are both garbage. The QB of the future is currently not on this roster, unless you’re in the extreme minority of Sam Howell fans.

I like Major Tuddy. Look at this jiggly motherfucker: