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Dan Orlovsky with Questionable Towel Usage
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
Dan Orlovsky smells like a months’ worth of taint sludge:
Question is:
How many times do you use a towel post shower till you throw it in laundry? I’m 30 times or so till it goes in
And no I agree but that air better be HOT
— Dan Orlovsky (@danorlovsky7) March 15, 2023
Using the same towel for 30 straight showers is a psycho move. Especially when you’re a millionaire and you could buy all the BOGO cotton linens at Bed Bath & Beyond. There are bums who are looking down on Dan Orlovsky’s hygiene right now. Your asshole is undefeated. You could scrub in and around it for 45 minutes a day and it will still continue to reek. Over the course of 30 days you mix all that ass goo and taint particles and Dan Orlovsky’s towel has to smell like Jon Runyan’s jock after two-a-days at Lehigh. Not to mention, what’s the system he uses to make sure he’s not wiping butt gunk in his eyes one of the 30 days? How is Orlovsky never on camera looking like Bob Costas?
WTF Bob Costas! If your sick, stay home. Your pink eye is scaring America. #WinterOlympics pic.twitter.com/cIDtbblHpn
— Erik Nagel (@itseriknagel) February 11, 2014
Who knew the whole time this guy was saying Jalen Hurts would never sniff being as good as Carson Wentz, nobody on set could breathe around him? If you put him and Mike Greenberg together they would make some sort of Super Dork that eats chicken wings with a knife and fork, raids the ESPN Lost & Found for clothes, and smells like moldy bread.
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com