Let’s get a latex spill update from the Philly Water Department:

Not sure about you, but I drank the water and grew a third arm. It’s helping me type these blogs much faster than I normally do.

But on a more serious note, if I still lived in the city, these updates would be very annoying. Are they just gonna keep kicking the can down the road? How long does it take for the latex to flow past the treatment plant intake entirely? Is the next update going to be something like “the water is safe to drink until Friday night at 11:59 p.m.”? There’s gonna be an entire week of shit like this:

Terrible. People buying up all the water, then up-selling it. I blame Mayor Kenney, Bucks County, and the Sixers. Can’t believe Joel Embiid didn’t play last night.