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What the Hell is Pete Alonso Wearing?
Published:
Dork face Pete Alonso:
lmao what is Pete Alonso wearing pic.twitter.com/LHjOgbMUDA
— Baseball Quotes (@BaseballQuotes1) March 30, 2023
I’ve been staring at this photo for five minutes and still can’t figure out what’s on the pants. They look like colored avocados? Eyeballs? Space lemons? No clue. And then you’ve got the mustache and belt buckle and necklace and it’s like he’s half Cowboy, half running a seminar at the Boyertown Junior high East planetarium. Like Clint Eastwood if he was a weirdo space cowboy who mashes baseballs.
Serious question –
Why are athletes so fucking weird these days? Kyrie Irving, Aaron Rodgers, Pete Alonso, C.J. Gardner-Johnson, etc. Showing up in goofy-ass clothes, deleting tweets left and right, talking about flat Earth, and going into a darkness retreat. The last time I communed with the void was when I looked at my kids’ preschool bill. Talk about blackness.
But anyway, Pete Alonso is gonna be the de facto guy we hate on in 2023. CB readers have provided a lot of positive feedback to “dork face” this year, so we’re gonna roll with it. Good luck to space avocado cowboy Pete Alonso and the Mets.
Kevin has been writing about Philadelphia sports since 2009. He spent seven years in the CBS 3 sports department and started with the Union during the team's 2010 inaugural season. He went to the academic powerhouses of Boyertown High School and West Virginia University. email - k.kinkead@sportradar.com