Good News: We’re Entering a New Era of Flyers Hockey

via the Flyers

Taylor Swift isn’t the only one blabbering about eras in Philly. Buried between Keith Jones taking over as President of Hockey Ops and Danny Briere shedding the interim GM tag is the Flyers’ statement about “A New Era of Orange” –

I’m picturing Flyers employees sitting around a gigantic oak table in a conference room at the Wells Fargo Center on Monday pissed off they didn’t win the Connor Bedard sweepstakes and wondering how they could spin this into a positive for the fanbase. Ideas like “winning” or “shedding bad contracts” are thrown around, but that doesn’t excite the higher ups. Until one of them looks out the window and spots a banner hanging from the Linc that reads Taylor Swift’s “Eras Tour.” That’s it! We’re just going to usher in some bullshit new era and let the fans know we mean business this time. If Taylor can have four of them, why can’t the Flyers have one? Immediately they get to work on this statement. They release it today and hire the guy with the bright idea to be President of Hockey Ops an hour later. This is how it happened and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Man, I can’t believe this is real. What team announces they’re ready to start winning!?! And what was the era before this? Sorry to all the fans who spent all that money. That was our “We Don’t Really Know What the Fuck We Were Doing” Era. Oopsies.

Imagine the Eagles releasing something like this. I can picture Jeff McLane having to raise his hand and ask Howie what exactly are the new ways you plan on winning. I want to say they’re trying to shed the Broad Street Bullies toughness mantra, which I’m all for if true, but the statement is so contradicting that I can’t understand what it is fully trying to convey. I think most Flyers fans would be happy if they didn’t hear from the team all summer.

The guys at Snow the Goalie broke the moves down this morning: