
Add Dallas Goedert to the List of Eagles Who are Skeptical of the Moon Landing
Dallas Goedert was on Pardon My Take where he gave his opinion on the moon landing:
The moon landing recording was faked because there wasn’t Bluetooth back then pic.twitter.com/0QUIQ3ZwM5
— Pardon My Take (@PardonMyTake) July 12, 2023
They didn’t have Bluetooth in the 70s. Spot the lie. Without that little thing we use to connect our phone to an Alexa, how did they get to the moon?
The good news is the Eagles don’t pay Dallas Goedert for his knowledge of astrophysics and Bluetooth. They pay him to catch balls, score touchdowns, and run through people’s faces and he does that perfectly fine.
Just don’t let Buzz Aldrin hear him talking shit:
Remember the time Buzz Aldrin punched a guy who said he didn't walk on the moon pic.twitter.com/OSuRRkz5GL
— Colin Jones (@colinjones) July 4, 2017
Dallas was a content machine this entire episode. Did you know he comes from a family of unicyclists?
Dallas goedert is the fucking best. This whole interview will have every birds fan ready to die for this man. pic.twitter.com/bnuwx1b78n
— Max Dolente (@Philly_Mays) July 12, 2023
There’s no doubt Howie threw a unicycle clause in his contract in case he got hurt. Also – that pronunciation of “Guinness.” WOOF. That world mangled his brain worse than any sucker punch in a South Dakota bar ever could.
You can also add him to the growing list of Eagles who think they got boned by The SodFather:
Did The Sodfather cost the Eagles the Super Bowl?
Dallas Goedert sure thinks so.@pardonmytake pic.twitter.com/9KdlSeXBsS
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) July 12, 2023
“Oh Kyle give The Sodfather a break. Both teams played on the same field.”
Me:
I’ll never let it go until I see The Sodfather in Hell. A generational d-line immobilized because they over-watered the field and Rihanna needed some more practice time. We have the damn slip stats for God’s sake!
Nick Sirianni is Ted Lasso. Ted Lasso is Nick Sirianni:
Nick Sirianni = Ted Lasso? @goedert33 @DrinkBODYARMOR pic.twitter.com/dvF8iOX1pg
— Pardon My Take (@PardonMyTake) July 12, 2023
Even as nuts as Philly sports fans are, for some reason aww shucks coaches have been the most successful in this city. Andy Reid, Charlie Manuel, Rob Thomson, Doug Pederson, and Sirianni. They’re kind of dorky, a little dumb, and you don’t understand half the shit they’re talking about when they get here. For some reason they work. Your hardass Buddy Ryans, Larry Bowas, and Chip Kellys flame out. It’s ironic. Give me the hayseed every time.
Speaking of Dallas. Here is he and DeVonta Smith filming a commercial Wednesday at a Wawa in South Philly:
DeVonta Smith and Dallas Goedert grabbing some Wawa this morning in South Philly. 🦅
( 🎥: mikhailpolidoro1128 on IG) pic.twitter.com/GPHB8cAXac
— Eagles Nation (@PHLEaglesNation) July 12, 2023
I love the dude trying to check out:
Probably already late to his 9-5 at Terminix, probably gonna get fired, and all the lady behind the counter could care about is filming probably the 30th take of two Eagles walking into the store. Only in America!
It reminded me of this:
Woman as a Philadelphia Wawa is being ransacked around her: "Are y'all gonna make the sandwiches or are ya'll just gonna keep recording?"
Wawa employee: "Uh… It's going to be a while" pic.twitter.com/S8SORxfgs7
— Citizen Free Press (@CitizenFreePres) September 25, 2022