This might be the most Philly thing ever:

No one has ever been more out of place than this fella:

Dude this is Dreams and Nightmares not Taylor Swift’s Love Story. What’re you instructing a concerto or something? Put your fucking finger down and hit someone!

Philly was very well represented last night. Here’s Uzi and Joel Embiid f̶l̶o̶p̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ rolling on the ground:

Chandler Parsons and Joakim Noah. Name an odder duo that would be at Jo’s wedding. Also, was this a cup check on Parsons or friendly fire?

The reception was held at Michael Rubin’s Hamptons house:

This flower budget was probably worth more than what my entire wedding will be:

There’s nothing better than having a wedding in the city where you live. No driving, no hotel rooms, and no forgetting to pack something. I’ve been to Targets in Ithaca for shoes. Wal-Marts in Annapolis for belts. A Men’s Warehouse in Binghamton for a dress shirt. I always forget something during every wedding I need to travel. Being invited to one in your house is next level! “Alright guys I’m going to bed. Just clean up when you’re done.” Embiid just paid for Rubin’s mortgage for August.

Other highlights from Embiid’s wedding…

Dude looking like Shaq in those Buick commercials:

Embiid had Brian McKnight sing “Back At One” for their first dance:

I don’t know why, but him slapping this lady’s shoulder makes me laugh every time:

Old teammates and new teammates were there:

Where was James Harden? Eating burgers with Bun B down in Miami at Rolling Loud. Let the speculation begin:


I think Robert Kraft just lives in the guest room of Rubin’s house. He’s like your cool uncle who never got married and is just there hungover at breakfast on the weekends:


Collegeville Italian Bakery’s sign sends their congratulations:


Trae Young also got married yesterday, but no one cares: