Who cares if the taxes are better in Jersey. Pat Bev wants to live Philly. Breathe it. Feel it. Smell it. Could you imagine Pat Bev in Cherry Hill? He’d be bored as shit:


What neighborhood in Philly should he stay in? He’s from Chicago which is similar to Philly with a good amount of wide ranging neighborhoods. We need somewhere that matches his personality as a junkyard dog, but also might have a Jamba Juice up the street. He’s a multi-millionaire at the end of the day, but he’s not a Rittenhouse guy. What’s he going to do? Yuck it up with the Yoga moms in the Square? No chance. He can’t do Fishtown. He’d put some hipster in a headlock day 1 after almost getting ran off the sidewalk by a bike. Society Hill is a good option, but I don’t know if Queen Village is his scene and Old City doesn’t have an identity outside of patriotic tourism. Also, all the houses were built in like colonial times. Could you imagine him going from this beautiful spot in Encino with a pool. To a two story walk up where Ben Franklin used to knock boots? Fairmount is an extension of Center City. It’s quiet, but there’s not much space if Pat wants to have a house party and grill in the backyard.

So that’s why I think Graduate Hospital is perfect. Anywhere between South St. to Washington Ave. and 25th street down to Broad is where it’s at. He has Point Breeze to the south right over Washington which is gritty but considered “up and coming”. He can hit the Chinese spots and the Papi Stores to bring the memories back to growing up in Chicago and he’s got Rittenhouse to the north for that Jamba Juice and good restaurants we talked about earlier. He can head down to South Street and see the craziest shit he’s probably seen in any city. While being close to 76 where he can get to the Wells Fargo Center for a game or out to practice over the Ben.

Maybe the Sixers will have him live in Chinatown as some sort of ambassador for the arena. Not the worst idea either.