Monday night, during the Washington Commanders and Baltimore Ravens preseason game, new owner Josh Harris was in the booth with Troy Aikman and Joe Buck when this happened:

oh man lol

Truth be told, we weren’t sure what to do with this. Is posting this beneath us? Or do we treat Harris as the enemy when he’s doing Commanders stuff? What exactly are the rules here? We need to set some guidelines for how we’re going to treat the guy who owns both the Sixers and Commies (and Devils). We need Dua Lipa up in here to explain the new rules.

Personally, I think that when Harris is in Sixers settings, we treat him like Jeffrey Lurie and John Middleton. He’s our guy. But when he’s doing Washington stuff, we treat him like Dan Snyder or Jerry Jones or any other rival owner, and savage the absolute shit out of him. Fair? Unfair? I think it’s fair, but we will go to the Philly sports politburo for final approval.

The funny thing is that folks on Twitter thought Harris was drunk or high, but honestly, I think he was 100% sober. Harris is kind of an awkward guy. He’s a money guy and not a master orator. No one is gonna confuse him for 2007 Obama at the dais. Harris isn’t the greatest public speaker of all time, which honestly is really tough for some people. Speaking on national television or in front of a bunch of reporters is nerve-wracking to a lot of folks who don’t come from from English/journalism/whatever careers, so it’s all good. No big deal. And Joe Buck is a hand talker, so yeah, the right arm was just sort of DANGLING there for a bit. We’ll throw Harris a bone and say his confusion was at least somewhat plausible.

New rules:

  1. When Harris is doing Commanders stuff we crush him. Go Birds.
  2. When he’s doing Sixers stuff – support/respect + fair criticism when necessary.
  3. When he’s in the house for Devils vs. Flyers in the 2028 Eastern Conference Finals, we boo the everliving shit out of him.

Good morning.