Disclaimer:

I meant to post this last week but forgot. 32-year-old soccer superstar Antoine Griezmann wants to come to the United States:

“My priority remains as a player to come to MLS.” 

Well golly! What would you say if I told you that someone in Philadelphia Union ownership is a Griezmann fan? –

You may think this is a shitpost, or that I’m kidding, but I’m not. Kevin Durant is a Philadelphia Union part owner. What exactly does he contribute? No clue! It’s definitely not millions and millions of dollars for player signings or transfer fees. The one thing he CAN do is use his clout and connections to sell people on the Union, which, if we’re being honest, can be very difficult. World class superstars aren’t exactly lining up to play in Chester. It’s not LA, Miami, or New York, and that’s the reality of the situation, isn’t it? David Beckham played a role in bringing Lionel Messi to South Florida, and you know the teams in the other cosmopolitan cities are going to up their games to keep up. To date, the Union have done it the hard way, pulling diamonds from the European and South American rough while playing moneyball en route to five seasons now of overachievement. The running joke is that Miami goes and gets Messi while the Union sign Johnny Doe from the bumblefuck third division, then turn him into an MLS All Star.

But what if they didn’t have to play moneyball? What if ownership said, “you know what? we’re really good already, here’s that final bit of investment.” You make 1-2 more star signings in an effort to get yourself over the hump and win that second trophy. They’ve been so damn close already. All they need, hypothetically, is one of their well-connected owners to call a guy he already knows, who wants to come play here. That’s how you #DoTheDeal.

(btw, Griezmann mentions he has three kids. I can’t think of a better place to raise a family than Delco)