You know how I know the New Jersey Twitter account admin is from North Jersey? This tweet:

I’d even guess they probably live over the border in Manhattan now, but grew up somewhere like Morristown or New Brunswick.

They’re probably a dirty Mets fan and they definitely call Pork Roll Taylor Ham. I mean, it’s a funny tweet, but they’re obviously too dumb to understand that Phillies fans make up 50% of their state, so I’ll put it in a way that’ll get it through their skull:

This would be like Auburn, fresh off of a 3-9 season, making fun of Alabama for losing in the National Championship.

South Jersey should be able to secede from the rest of New Jersey because of this. We can make it “New Philadelphia,” finally realizing Chris Heck’s vision. I mean, it’s already basically ours. Every year we invade it for four months, the Sixers practice over there, and the accents are the same, so there is no language barrier. We’ll teach them how to pump gas and make left turns like the Indians taught the Pilgrims how to plant corn and hunt for food.

It’s a sad state of affairs up north, and rather than cope they want to take shots at successful franchises. No New York teams made the MLB playoffs and both football teams are a combined 5-8. There’s nothing to cheer about up north. Our sports are better, our beaches are better, and our pork roll is better.  How the mighty have fallen.