Jalen Hurts was sitting courtside at the Sixers/Lakers game. It was all over social media on a slow sports Monday and Travis Kelce’s ex-girlfriend took notice:

BE GONE, SHE DEVIL!

We date college-educated, badass businesswomen around these parts, like Bry Burrows, not reality show contestants funding their life off being an NFL WAG. The last thing Jalen Hurts would do is let this jezebel anywhere near the locker room to upend the 2023 Eagles. Everyone knows women weaken legs and we’ve got a Brotherly Shove to convert. If this girl somehow ruins the all-time gambling run of “Jalen Hurts anytime touchdown,” I’ll never forgive her.

If anything, this has the Chiefs written all over it. Strategic warfare right in front of our eyes. It starts with a tweet. They saw how unbeatable the Eagles are firsthand. They’re the most resilient team in the NFL. While their star TE is gallivanting around Argentina with an Eagles fan and fumbling in the redzone, Hurts is watching film and studying his playbook. Howie Roseman thought of this plan first. Just because Travis was too gullible to fall for it doesn’t mean they have to fire their own shot back across the bow.