Fasten your seatbelts people, this one is a bumpy ride. A Philadelphia woman pulled her pants down and tried to piss in the middle of the aisle during a flight from Orlando to PHL and TMZ has the video. Here’s the woman trying to get to the bathroom while also fighting with everyone on the plane:

 

Who’s ready for Splash Mountain?

I LOVE THIS CRAZY BITCH!

If anything I’m blaming the flight attendant in this situation. Just let her go to the bathroom! Jesus Christ. She’s already up there, she can see the finish line. Puedo el bano por favor??? You’re stopping the Leprechaun from getting his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! Like all of this could’ve been nipped in the bud if the flight attendant just let crazy lady by to use the bathroom. Apparently the reason the flight attendant on a power trip didn’t let our sweet angel go to the bathroom was because they were taxiing. Like they were stopped and she still didn’t let her go via 6ABC:


“Once the plane arrived at the gate and the seatbelt sign was turned off — but before any external doors were opened to allow passengers to leave the aircraft — (Dulce) Huertas resumed her aggressive behavior and pushed passengers out of the way as she moved to the front of the plane,” according to a criminal complaint.

You’re already on the ground. The plane isn’t moving. I mean nobody on the flight is going to rat on you to the flight board because some crazy lady needs to use the bathroom. You’re Frontier, for Christ sake! Let the inmates run the asylum! This isn’t fucking Con Air! You work for Frontier. Nobody respects you anyway. The first question on the job application is “Can you stop a fight from 0-30,000 feet in the air?” No? Next! Now everyone in the world knows that you suck at conflict resolution.

And you already lost. It’s hard to be more emasculated than getting belly bumped:

She’s also accused of using her belly to bump an attendant who was guarding one of the external doors. Huertas continued to yell, curse and threaten to kill multiple passengers before she was arrested, authorities said.

I’d resign tomorrow if some 60-year-old-woman belly bumped me. I can’t believe they’re going to try and nab her with assault. You got belly bumped not shanked. That’s an embarrassment injury like when a running back fumbles the ball and then grabs their ankle.

Imagine this crazy bitch with three drinks in her system:

The woman, who was reportedly served two alcoholic drinks, is accused of yelling and cursing at the flight attendant after being told to stay seated.

I will say this still doesn’t sway me from flying Frontier Airlines. I’ve never had a bad experience on it. Now I try to keep the flight times to 2.5 hours or shorter and getting slowly tortured with every little fee makes me kind of hope the plane just falls out of the sky as I’m waiting at the gate. But in hindsight we’ve got airplanes falling apart mid-flight. And these are from airlines that are supposed to be consistent. Not to mention, flying is downright awful. So when you realize every airline sucks (except Southwest), a little golden shower isn’t really a deterrent for me. I mean crazy bitch probably just spent her entire life savings at Disney World for some ungrateful brats who didn’t even say thank you.

P.S. There not being at least one hocked loogie is unreal. Loogie was going off at -5000 at the Crossing Broad Sportsbook.