The next chapter of the Ant vs. Torts beef has been written and it’s getting boring at this point. Ant’s not even fighting back while Torts wants another Larry Brooks moment for the highlight reel before he rides off into the sunset:

So instead of continuing this same song and dance for however long Torts is going with this charade I propose we settle it in the undercard at WrestleMania 40 right across the street. Paisan vs. Paisan for all the gravy. No disqualification. ECW Hardcore match style. Kevin Hayes in Torts’ corner and I don’t want to speak for the Blue Meanie, but I’m pretty sure we could convince him to be in Ant’s.

Enough is enough. A couple steel chair shots to the head of Torts might knock some sense into him that he embarrassed Hayes way before all of this bullshit happened. Torts can bring his rope. Maybe we’ll get a steel cage involved and he can hang Ant from it like The Undertaker did the Bossman the last time WrestleMania was in town:

To build some heat we’ll send in Chihuahua Russ Joy in a lucha mask to the presser and have him go over the podium like that guy in the courtroom did in Vegas:

It’s time to send a message.

P.S. I love that Barkann is already in baseball mode. Just has absolutely no idea what is going on this Flyers season. I guess he’s on mop up duty filling in for Ashlyn Sullivan. Torts’ beef with Ant went completely over his head even though it was a five day story in this city.