The Landon Dickerson riding mower bit is one of the best things going:

That, my friends, is a $15,000 lawn mower. It’s a Gravely Pro-Turn 560.  Commercial grade, with 31 horsepower and a Kawasaki FX921V engine. It has a 60-inch mowing deck, so it’s almost three times wider than what you’d cut with an entry-level push mower. It’s a better vehicle and worth more than the Honda Civic you drove in college.

And when I say $15,000, that’s the manufacturer’s suggested retail price. The MSRP. I see these things going for $12k to $14k at various websites I’ve never heard of until today. You could probably still get a used Nissan Altima for less than $14,000, and drive it until the wheels fall off, or a recall is issued for the faulty airbag inflator. But most of us are not the highest-paid guard in NFL history, so good on Landon Dickerson for getting the top of the line shit. You need a commercial mower to handle a lawn that size.

Welcome to the big boy’s club.