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There’s a Pickle Monster Wreaking Havoc in New Jersey

Kyle Pagan

By Kyle Pagan

Published:

The Pickle Monster is picking up where the Swiss Cheese Pervert left off. Wreaking havoc on the Delaware Valley:

I thank god every day I was a stock boy at Staples before the social media prank generation. I would’ve gone catatonic if someone like the Pickle Monster came into my store and knocked over the paper display I just spent three hours putting up. If I was in that store when the Pickle Monster showed up I would’ve turned the other way if the deli worker just grabbed the Pickle Monster by the neck and held his head in that barrel. I don’t think you’d find a judge in NJ that would take the case. For $52 worth of pickles down the drain that’s just the price of doing business.

The pickle jar?

Is anything sacred anymore?

Tbh, I didn’t even know the pickle barrel was still a thing ever since they took them out of Wawa. Remember when Wawa was a full blown deli and you would have to write down your order? Simpler times.

If this prank did do one good thing, it’s that I learned what a Heritage was today. This place looks sick:

P.S. This has Rowan University’s dirty fingerprints all over it, right?

Kyle Pagan
Kyle Pagan

Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com

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