The Sixers are going to win Game 5 because that is the way this team operates. Giving this fanbase the slightest bit of hope they can latch onto is their M.O. You might be better off watching from your couch for Game 6 if this is what the last five minutes of Sixers offensive possessions is going to look like. The good news is you can use the free playoff t-shirt the Sixers gave you yesterday to wipe up the puke after watching:

Nine possessions, three points, 0 for 11, 0 for 6 from three, and two offensive rebounds. Despicable. Joel Embiid wants us to keep showing up for that performance time after time again? We just watched the same horror movie last year.

Possession 1: Kelly Oubre blocked, inbounds under the basket, Embiid doubled, Maxey wide open three bricked

Not much more here to say than Tyrese Maxey has to hit a wide open three after Embiid passes out of the double team.

 

Possession 2: Embiid double-teamed fadeaway jumper brick

What is Tobias Harris doing and Maxey bringing their man to Embiid? Hey Jo you have a double team, why not make it a quadruple team. Embiid looked like his knee caused him to fadeaway more this series on jumpers. When healthy he’d spot up and shoot over people. Regardless Harris and Oubre cut at the same time now one guy is covering two. Giving Embiid no outs and he shoots a prayer as the shot clock is winding down.

 

Possession 3: Embiid jumper blocked, shot-clock violation

Maybe the grossest possession in a video filled with them. Kyle Lowry and Maxey playing a two-man game up top, Kelly Oubre and Harris standing in the corner together close enough to hold hands, while Embiid’s hands are on his knees 30 feet from the basket. Maybe the play was to get Maxey to the line in a three point game. He just could never get around Jalen Brunson or Deuce McBride.  Credit to the Knicks. This possession was perfect man principles and help defense. It didn’t hurt Tobi and Oubre were never respected enough as a threat the entire possession.

 

Possession 4: Embiid doubled (sensing a pattern), Maxey stepback jumper bricked

Oubre has zero purpose when he does anything. It’s insane to watch on tape. Just complete lackadaisical cuts and half-assed screens when he knows the call isn’t for him.  Never even looking for the ball:

Now do I want Oubre taking shots with under two minutes in the playoffs in a three point game? No. But that’s what makes possession five so insane!

 

Possession 5: Oubre with a prayer…brick

“It’s Kelly Oubre time!” – Kelly Oubre

Five straight times down the floor and you haven’t scored. Maybe we get Maxey or Embiid to the line to see the ball go through the net. That’s what typical teams would do. Not the Sixers. Kelly Oubre gets a 25 footer from the top of the arc while three max players just chill in the corners praying that the guy making the vet minimum knocks one down. Your team. Your town. Your 2024 Sixers.

But wait! Lowry gets an offensive board! There’s life breathed into this possession. What are they going to do?

Tobias Harris corner three that you knew never had a chance because we’ve been reading the same terrible chapter in the Book of Sixers for the last five years. The flail looking for the foul was perfect:

Like a wounded dear on the side of the road still flinching after getting hit by a car hoping and praying someone would just put them out of their misery ASAP.

 

Possession 6: Embiid gets to the free throw line, goes 1 for 2. 

Embiid gets to the line. 95-89. We have our first two points! Game isn’t over!

Brick.

Second one good. 95-90

Possession 7: Maxey hits ‘away from play’ free throw after Lowry gets run over on the inbound, Embiid misses a layup

If there was ever a chance the Sixers were going to pull one out it was at this moment. OG Anunoby gets called for the ‘away from the play’ foul. Maxey sinks it to make it 95-91 and the Sixers get the ball back. Embiid gets it for a wide open 15-footer…and nothing:

Instead he barrels into the lane looking for a foul the entire time and throws up a circus shot. He’s made that 15 footer a thousands of times in his career. Why didn’t he take it? I understand trying to draw the foul, but the Knicks were on the ropes. The Sixers only scoring three points in the last five minutes overshadowed the Knicks only scoring seven and making costly turnovers.

Possession 8: Lowry three, offensive board, fouled

Insane that the only offensive boards in the last five minutes were secured by the smallest guy on the court. It was all Villanova on both sides of the ball in the last five minutes (puke).

Lowry hits the first and intentionally misses the second. What are the Sixers guards doing? Why is Maxey by the half court not even in the frame and why is Oubre hanging out with John Starks on the sideline? This set up makes zero sense:

Completely unserious franchise.

 

Possession 9: Joel Embiid bricks a three. Sixers lose 97-92

The damage: