As you know by now, artificial intelligence is the future. AI is going to do our homework, cook our dinner, walk the dog, and maybe go rogue and take over the entire world.

Since everyone is wondering how to use artificial intelligence responsibly, we’d be remiss if we didn’t look into how robots could contribute to Philadelphia’s #1 irreverent sports blog. Perhaps there’s a way we can carve out a recurring feature story without having to do the work ourselves. Brilliant!

So in our first “Robot Story of the Week,” we asked ChatGPT to write a blog post about a bored Philadelphia sports talk radio host who is going game by game through the Eagles schedule and predicting wins and losses in May.

The result:

“In the heart of Philadelphia, amidst the bustling streets and passionate sports culture, sat Hank, the host of “The Philly Sports Beat” radio show. Hank loved his job, but as May rolled around, the offseason blues hit him hard. With the Eagles’ regular season still months away, he found himself searching for ways to keep the show engaging and entertaining.

As he stared at the Eagles’ schedule pinned to the wall of his studio, an idea struck him. “Why not go game by game through the schedule and predict wins and losses?” he thought aloud, his voice echoing in the empty room. It was a simple yet intriguing concept that could spark lively debates among listeners and fill the airwaves with Eagles chatter.

With newfound enthusiasm, Hank grabbed his trusty microphone and launched into his solo analysis. He meticulously dissected each opponent, scrutinizing their strengths, weaknesses, and offseason acquisitions. He poured over player statistics, coaching strategies, and historical matchups, immersing himself in the world of football.

First up, the season opener against their arch-rivals, the Dallas Cowboys. Hank leaned back in his chair, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “It’s a tough one, folks,” he mused to his imaginary audience. “But I’m calling it—a hard-fought victory for the Eagles at home!”

As Hank continued down the schedule, his predictions grew bolder with each game. He envisioned nail-biting victories, heartbreaking defeats, and everything in between. The studio buzzed with excitement as he passionately defended his choices, his voice rising and falling with each spirited argument.

But as the hours ticked by and the clock on the wall crept closer to midnight, Hank’s enthusiasm began to wane. The once exhilarating task of predicting wins and losses now felt like an endless slog through a sea of uncertainty. He longed for the thrill of live game commentary, the roar of the crowd, and the adrenaline rush of victory.

With a weary sigh, Hank glanced at the completed schedule sprawled out before him. The Eagles’ fate had been sealed, at least in his mind. But as he switched off the microphone and prepared to leave the studio, a spark of inspiration ignited within him.

Perhaps there was more to sports radio than just analyzing games and making predictions. Maybe it was about connecting with listeners, sharing stories, and celebrating the passion that united them all. With a newfound sense of purpose, Hank vowed to infuse his show with creativity, humor, and a dash of Philly spirit, no matter the season.

And as he stepped out into the cool night air, the echoes of his voice lingered in the empty studio, a reminder of the boundless possibilities that awaited him on the airwaves.”

Thoughts? I think AI did a great job! It honestly looks like something Coggin would write.

This has been your “Robot Story of the Week.”

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